This is what happens when you skimp on translation services ---- or ---- "He is, the one that happens if you skimp to the works of the translation."
I was given a remote controlled car for my birthday this year. It was made in China and, I can only gather, was hastily prepared for sale in English speaking markets. For starters, the product is called "Innervation Racing" and is adorned with decals such as "Speeding!" and "Good Sale" (which I'm guessing was supposed to be "goodbye" but stopped off at "good buy" before arriving at "good sale"). One need only read the instructions to be fully convinced. To wit:
1. If another car using the same radio frequency operated same time nearby ,the control of car would be malnutrition . So...get two cars together and go hungry?
2. Please change the place or other period of time to play .Sometime , if affected by other radio frequency transmition the control may be also out of order . OK, this one is a gem for punctuation alone. But it also seems to suggest that whatever time and place you had in mind for using this toy will have to change.
Apparently "transmition" will mess you up too. So please, children, say no to transmition and stay in school.
3. This car suitable to play on the roughage sand road ,if playing on the every smooth polished ground ,because the fiction between wheel and ground is too small , may cause problem of moving in non-straight path ,car rotate 180º or continually rotating on the ground. Cursed fiction. If only the fiction between wheel and ground were larger, but no. They have to be honest and ruin our fun. Not only that, where am I going to find a road that's built of sand and non-digestible fibrous vegetable matter? At least the malnutritioning car will be continually rotating on the ground and not in the air where someone could really get hurt.
I do give them credit for omitting the space before the period .
4. Better play on the larger playground ,not suitable playing indoor on a single-family house . Surely you'll appreciate the relief I felt upon first reading number four. You see, I own a condo that is attached to two other dwellings and am therefore cleared to use the car indoors. I am a bit miffed that I can't play on the smaller playground. The larger being considerably less convenient.
I have another set of instructions from this product I'll post next.
So. Uhhh. Here's what I don't get. If my computer is not connected to a power source, how can it light up the screen and display this message? Reneé would approve.
Do you ever get the feeling that both political parties in America are more concerned with carving us up into warring factions than actually listening to our needs? I'm of the opinion that Methodists in Kansas City and Buddhists in San Francisco have a lot more in common than we've been led to believe.
Get people fighting over, say, abortion long enough and maybe they'll forget what they agree on. We all want safe neighborhoods, good jobs, and clean water to come out of the tap, right? So when the politicians start paying more attention to earmarks than citizens, is it any wonder we catch on too late?
I decided to try out my hunch with a little experiment. Everyone knows the red vs. blue map from the 2004 election. But suppose you blend red and blue based on the percentage of votes each state recorded for the candidates. What would happen? Things get a lot more purple...
I admit this was outside Adobe's control, but I couldn't let it get away. A ho with new episodes of ass? Who's interest wouldn't be piqued?
I got this message just days after attempting to pay Adobe $150 to upgrade some software I own. In short, they acknowledged that I legitimately own the software, but didn't own it in just the right way to buy the upgrade. This comes after they take my money. So I ask for my money back and they demand certification that I destroyed all copies of the software that I can't install. Sure thing, guys.
Here's another little gem from our friends over at CapitalOne. You know those "Convenience Checks" the credit card companies like to send you? Take a look at the terms sometime. Not only will they charge you $50 to write the check, you won't get your miles or bonus points or whatever crumb they offer you on regular purchases.
You will, on the other hand, be treated to astonishingly odd nuggets such as clause number seven in the image below. I'm sure this is meaningful to CapitalOne's lawyers, in fact, I'm pretty sure I know what they're getting at, but come on!
"Who's the Barber Here" is taken from the old Saturday Night Live sketch where Steve Martin plays a medieval barber. Regardless of the ailment, the prescribed treatment is always a bloodletting. When he's challenged on the wisdom of letting the blood of a bleeding accident victim, he counters: "Say, who's the barber here?"
That's how I feel when some company or another makes utterly specious claims or thinks we're too ignorant to know what they're up to. So, herewith is my humble collection of BS from the "barbers" of today.
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