A collection of the absurd. Solicitations and signs that make you wonder just how dim they think we really are.
Monday, March 15, 2010
Stuart's Sky Mall Game
I admit it. When I fly, I enthusiastically dive into the Sky Mall catalog. I adore it's randomness. There aren't many catalogs where you can find a $400 foot squisher and a two foot tall Bigfoot statue in the same pages. Inspired by its strangeness and by my beloved parody Sky Maul (Shop 'Till You Drop...From the Sky!™) I came up with the Sky Mall game.
Open SkyMall to any given page. Drawing only from that page and the one facing it, string together a few phrases of your choice. Grammar modifications for things like plurality and subject-verb agreement are OK. Here are a couple from my flight last Saturday.
p. 44-45 The removable pivoting kettle is more of a pleasure when encased in rich leather. Integrated two-slice toaster with special bagel setting does the rest, no plumbing required.
p.38-39 Unlike plastic pet fountains, this forms gently to the shape of your thigh. The falling stream attracts pets which are suctioned by a 22,400 RPM motor.
p. 28-29 This portable device analyzes your dog's DNA and allows you to convert your cherished antimicrobial artificial turf at up to 300 dpi resolution. Integrated diffuser screen gives dogs a place to relieve themselves.
p. 22-23 Nobody needs to know about your notorious and gripping run-ins with your baby in the dark.Calm them behind a bookcase or beneath a couch.
p. 24-25 Impress your friends with work, stress, drinking, and harmful UV rays. A simple swab of your inner cheek turns even the hardest wood into mold and mildew.
This could work with just about any catalog, but the sheer randomness of SkyMall makes for some interesting possibilities...