Wednesday, June 18, 2008

How Hard Can It Be?

My name is Stuart. When I speak my name, I make a conscious effort to pronounce it clearly. I give the S plenty of hiss and both Ts have a strong snap to them. Yet for some reason, when I order my burritos, the folks behind the counter have difficulty with my name. Now don't jump to any conclusions about the people behind the cash register. They're all nice, hard-working people from a variety of ethnic backgrounds. Still, when faced with the prospect of typing "Stuart" (I accept "Stewart" as phonetically indistinguishable), they routinely fail. Comically.

My favorite bungled version is "Storch." Regrettably, I lost that receipt.




Friday, June 6, 2008

You're On Your Way!


Am I on my way? Read that first section in bold and tell me if you agree.

Now, I must fully disclose my mathematical aptitude. Many of us in this world are not particularly gifted in the manipulation of numbers. I believe that my skills settle somewhere below that. I struggled with math all through school and never once turned in an A. I'm so averse to math that I selected my college major based largely on the math requirements. I had a single course titled "Mathematics for Liberal Arts Majors" but everyone just called it "Intro to Numbers." And still I produced the weakest showing of my college career, grateful that a C is still a passing grade.

Knowing this, I believe that I'm still within my mathematical capacities when I assert that a person requires at least one TrueBlue point to be considered "on your way to redeeming for your next Award Flight." Moreover I am squarely in my realm of expertise to state that the preceding quote contains too many prepositions. Jetting indeed.
Copyright 2007, 2008 Stuart Gripman. All rights reserved.